A sketch starring Lori Beth Denberg as Mrs. Hushbaum, a strict but hypocritical librarian who is the one who is very loud in the library. She commonly honked her air horn and blew her whistle while students studied. She always engaged in noisy activities but when someone else in the library makes even the tiniest sound, including asking her to stop what she was doing, she would scream things like, "QUIET! THIS IS A LIBRARY! CAN'T YOU READ?! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO STUDY! HOW CAN YOU BE SO RUDE?! HUSH! IF YOU CAN'T BE SILENT, THEN I WILL BE VIOLENT!" A trademark of the sketch was her air horn, her whistle, and the signs she had placed around the library that read, "Quiet", "No Talking", "Stifle", "Hush", "Silence", and "Shhh".
Noisy Activities the Librarian Engages In[]
- bowling,
- fighting a bull
- hosting a New Year's Eve party,
- herding sheep
- talking loudly on the phone,
- chomping on chips,
- bouncing on a pogo stick,
- using a jackhammer,
- working a "Test Your Strength" game,
- riding a motorcycle,
- making popcorn,
- feeding a parrot
- frying bacon,
- sharpening pencils,
- playing a pinball game,
- playing an organ,
- using a hair dryer,
- using a leaf blower,
- singing "America, the Beautiful" into a vacuum,
- practicing karate
- shaving,
- lifting weights,
- dancing to the Macarena
- engaging in a rock guitar battle.
- stamping books
- licking stamps
- playing the drums
- cracking her knuckles
- using a blender
- slurping a drink
- screaming at a TV
- blowing her whistle
- sounding her horn
- clipping her toenails
- getting a tattoo
- celebrating her birthday
- having band practice
- installing a bell (twice)
- chewing ice
- getting her tooth fixed
- bringing frankenstein to life
- blowing her nose
- sneeze
- having a toothache
- burps
- snooze
- goes trick or treating
- getting Easter eggs
- giving out a library card
- Making Jack o lanterns
- going for a walk
- takes a nap
- having a headache
- getting a haircut
- Cry
- Make an Appointment
- making an announcement
- making a speech
- Having AN ALLergy
- Cooking for Thanksgiving
- throwing things on the floor
- blowing bubbles
- taking care of a baby
- Saying April Fools
- getting Easter candy
- Take PICTURES
- Doing a crossword puzzle
- Sunbathing
- Earning Money
- Laugh
- HAVING an ANniVersary
- Sweeping the floor
- Doing ChOReS OUTSidE
- Snowboarding down the mountain
- having a birthday
- reading a newspaper
- Taking a day off
- Telling a Joke
- DoiNg SOmE MAGIC
- DIG UNdERgrOund
- getting presents from Santa Claus
- resting on the chair
- saying shabbat shalom
- smelling stuff
- Get gumballs from the machine
- getting Halloween candy
- Making ValenTiNe cards
- saying I have a dream
- Wearing GREEN ON ST PATRICK'S DAY
- MaKing A Movie
- Saying She's Thankful
- Meets the President of the United States
- putting on sunscreen
- sweeps the floor
- grow plants
- Watching Football
- Setting up for Valentine's day
- playing with the jack in the box
- FOLDING Papers
- LIGHTING CANDLES for Hanukah
- singing WITH The SILENCios