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A sketch starring Lori Beth Denberg as Mrs. Hushbaum, a hypocritical librarian. Ironically, who was very loud in her library. She commonly honked her air horn and blew her whistle while students studied. She always engaged in noisy activities. Ironically, when someone else in the library made the tiniest sound, including asking her to stop what she was doing, she would scream things like, "QUIET! THIS IS A LIBRARY! CAN'T YOU READ?! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO STUDY! HOW CAN YOU BE SO RUDE?! HUSH! IF YOU CAN'T BE SILENT, THEN I WILL BE VIOLENT!" A trademark of the sketch was her air horn, and the signs she had placed around the library that read, "Quiet", "No Talking", "Stifle", "Hush", "Silence", and "Shhh".

Noisy Activities the Librarian Engages InEdit

  • bowling,
  • fighting a bull,
  • hosting a New Year's Eve party,
  • herding sheep,
  • talking loudly on the phone,
  • chomping on chips,
  • bouncing on a pogo stick,
  • using a jackhammer,
  • working a "Test Your Strength" game,
  • riding a motorcycle,
  • making popcorn,
  • feeding a parrot
  • frying bacon,
  • sharpening pencils,
  • playing a pinball game,
  • playing an organ,
  • using a hair dryer,
  • using a leaf blower,
  • singing "America, the Beautiful" into a vacuum,
  • practicing karate,
  • shaving,
  • lifting weights,
  • dancing to the Macarena, and even
  • engaging in a rock guitar battle.
  • stamping books
  • playing the drums
  • cracking her knuckles
  • using a blender
  • screaming at a TV
  • blowing her whistle
  • sounding her horn

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